I was 13 years old when I was assaulted. That assault resulted in an unplanned pregnancy. I had never heard the word abortion before but that was the only thing offered to my family. That day changed our family forever as my mom heard me screaming for help but she was told she couldn’t help me. At 16, I faced another pregnancy and went to Planned Parenthood. They said I was young, poor and in school and I should abort. At 13, I didn’t know what abortion was but at 16 I did. That day I asked my boyfriend what he thought. This was the first time I shared my story and he said, “we had nothing figured out but we would figure it out.” We chose life that day. By the time we were 23 we bought our first house and had two kiddos. We thought life was great but when I faced a miscarriage I struggled with what I now know as a double child grief. This would affect my marriage and how I would parent. By the time my kids hit middle school I believed my kids deserved a better mom and my husband a better wife. I turned to drugs and alcohol to numb my pain and left my family. My life was a huge mess. One night after a heavy night of drinking and being turned down to be picked up I had noone. That night I sat in my car and cried out to God. What I love is God saw me at my worst, post abortive, high and drunk women and lavished me in a love I had never felt before. That night God began to write his redemption story.
I began healing for my sexual assault but wouldn't talk about my abortion. I felt like people in the church would throw me out if they knew. God kept meeting me and healing but still didn’t talk about my abortion. It wasn’t until I signed up to do sidewalk counseling that a sweet sister asked me if I had gone through healing. For the first time ever, I was allowed to grief Elliana Grace.
God would ask me to step out in faith to lead others in healing. I had no idea what it looked like but I gave God my yes. What I didn’t know was that my story was about ready to go public. The abortionist I went to hoarded 2411 babies in his garage. That night I cried out to Jesus and asked if my baby was one of the babies. I heard the Lord say, my baby and all the babies were with him, why did I think he asked me to share the rest of my story.
Men and women around the world began reaching out for help to heal after abortion. That lead to us starting She Found His Grace ministries. God has put a call on my life to help others find freedom from their past abortion. Now my husband and I travel the country speaking and help raise leaders to help others heal.